A Recipe For...

Upon being asked how I was doing last week:

"Eh, it's going okay. [Insert comment on freaking out about upcoming, scheduled, life-altering event here]. Add to that my new singlehood after being off the market for two years, my recent decision to resign from [organization that shall remain nameless to protect the innocent] in efforts to seek stronger advocacy, and the fact that last night I finished off a small tub of raw Keys Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough that I started a week ago and my almost-certain pending case of salmonella poisoning, and you've got a recipe for a very special mix of several neuroses. Where the heck are we supposed to meet people in this town?! I think I need to start hanging out in the library or coffee shops alone and see if I can get myself picked up. Terrible."