Trivial Pursuit

I would rather be ignored than be asked for my phone number by someone who then decides to not call it. I certainly revel in the initial flattery, but that feeling quickly turns to embarrassment and self-doubt if the asker does not follow-through. Did I misunderstand the asker’s original intent? Is it a power-trip for the asker? A change of heart? A bad organization system? A hole in the pocket? A hole in the head?

But now that I think of it, none of these options bode well for the asker – they’re indicative of communication problems, control issues, indecision, lack of logic, a desire for a mother rather than a girlfriend or perhaps a penchant for Pocket Pool, and/or a low IQ.

Well then, I feel much better now. Ha, ha, sucker.

Catch and Release

I hate spiders. So, so, SO hate spiders. Especially spiders that appear on the wall next to my pillow. MOST especially the spiders that appear on the FABRIC wall next to my pillow that would leave a gnarly stain if smashed on the spot.

After lengthy, and therefore risky, contemplation, tonight yielded a breakthrough in the relationship between this paranoid arachnophobe and all the wannabe Charlottes of the world. I coaxed the varmint into a very tall plastic container, slid a flimsy plastic cutting board between the container and the wall, walked the contraption out my apartment door, across the street, down the block, and released the thing in front of a city street lamp.

And now I’m drinking a big glass of wine. The spider may be gone, but it remains with me.

I'm sensing a theme here.

Singlehood-15; Petra-0

Craigslist Missed Connections - Minneapolis

Date: 2006-11-02, 7:59PM CST

very attractive brunette at checkout - m4w – 34

i was looking at a mens health magazine patiently waiting for my spinning chicken. i was standing next to the magazines not the deli. you looked at me a couple of times, i noticed because i was looking at you. you are about 5' 3" maybe 28 to 30. thursday evening around 5 pm. you looked hip and intelligent. i was thinking this could be your lucky day and i would buy you a cup of coffee. lol

this is in or around uptown kowalskis

Save for the “very attractive” part, I was convinced this was me. I am 5’2” and 28 years old. I was at that location at that exact time. I was wearing my hip and intelligent glasses.

I contacted the author. Turns out he wasn’t referring to me.

Hope he enjoyed his “spinning chicken.”

The Connection

On October 25^th, I referred to myself here as the dark horse in My Little Pony Land. While writing that post I couldn't remember if the name was My Little Pony, or My Pretty Pony, and so looked it up (turns out it’s been both) – while researching I was overcome with nostalgia, and spent ten minutes browsing photos of the plastic ponies I had growing up - including the unicorn kind. Before I finished publishing the new post, an e-mail came in from a missed friend containing a link to a video called “Charlie the Unicorn.” I never think about unicorns, so this coincidence was surprising and rather notable.

In that same October 25^th post, I used the phrase “nothing is how it seems.” On October 26^th, I opened my word-of-the-day e-mail from Merriam-Webster Online to discover the definition of the word “specious,” which read as follows (pay particular attention to the “Did you know?” section:

October 26 – “specious” M-W word of the day

The Word of the Day for October 26 is:

specious \SPEE-shuss\ adjective
1 : having deceptive attraction or allure
*2 : having a false look of truth or genuineness : sophistic

Example sentence:
From the get-go Shelly felt that Clark's claim was specious, but he insisted he was telling the truth and she couldn't at first prove otherwise.

Did you know?
"Appearances can be deceptive." "Things are not always as they seem." Like these familiar proverbs, the word "specious" attests that English speakers can be a skeptical lot when it comes to trusting outward appearances. "Specious" traces to the Latin word "speciosus," meaning "beautiful" or "plausible," and Middle English speakers used it to mean "visually pleasing." But by the 17th century, "specious" had begun to suggest an attractiveness that was superficial or deceptive, and, subsequently, the word's neutral "pleasing" sense faded into obsolescence.

*Indicates the sense illustrated in the example sentence.

Several days ago a new and unfamiliar acquaintance wrote “the Archangel Michael put a knot in the string of luck for love.” The week prior I had recollected a powerful dream from years ago in which I had directly addressed a being that I took to be a guardian angel with the phrase, “that was you, Michael, wasn’t it?” in reference to a real act of love toward me a day or two prior. He responded, “yes.”

There are more. I am not afraid.